Folly Beach Love Story Read online

the horizon

  I am Penelope

  Watching Odyssseus sail away

  To the mercy of capricious gods.

  Or am I Pelias, sending Jason on his quest

  That will one day unseat me?

  I seal the envelope, put it in the box.

  Gone from sight

  Beyond the call of my voice.

  Reachable only through thoughts,

  And dreams. And prayers.

  I imagine that you are having adventures

  Slaying monsters all across the world

  Fighting your way back to me

  Dripping with riches and wonder

  Rather than devoured by Scylla's fearsome jaws.

  Or impaled on an editor's spindle.

  Godspeed, little poem!

  Campfire(contents)

  Your circle is complete

  There can be no expansion

  The clique is a campfire

  Where souls huddle

  And when a stranger approaches

  You guard the flame

  With suspicious eyes and mental transactions:

  What is my cost, where is the benefit?

  The calculations are without remorse

  Algorithms show no pity

  The computations deemed too complex

  And the answer is no.

  A line is a circle of infinite radius

  and you cannot see across the diameter.

  Your circle is complete

  There can be no expansion.

  Mood(contents)

  My nights were not all I wished them to be.

  Pleasant enough, but victim

  Of the harsh comparison to vivid imagination.

  What I had was not what I wanted.

  Unsettled, unsatisfied,

  I walk on the beach.

  My angry stride long and quick

  To dull wrath's edge with fatigue.

  I walk in the water

  That I might feel the sting of cold

  Rather than the chill that comes from inside.

  Let the ocean wash away impotent rage

  Let the waves cleanse my mood

  Let the water extinguish the flame

  Of eager self-criticism.

  I will walk until warm sun returns.

  I will walk until the bitter wind dies.

  I will walk until the memories recede

  Of countless failures

  Of poor decisions

  Faulty logic

  Bad judgment.

  Let them pour forth from me.

  And let them wash away with the tide.

  Mornings at the Beach(contents)

  Folly Beach Christmas, 2010(contents)

  Alone, the Christmas sun embraces me

  With warm arms fierce against the chill

  The waves speak to me

  In their susurrations.

  Bid me close my eyes

  To receive their prayers.

  I am isolated

  Yet connected to the world.

  People say I should be sad

  To be alone on Christmas

  Yet I am celebrating a joy

  Only this moment can impart.

  Heliotropism(contents)

  It's mornings like this

  That remind me why I chose this place

  Or maybe

  This place chose me

  The sun, bright

  Gentle as a lover's touch

  Warm

  Like the breath of God

  I forget the cold

  Of all the lonely nights

  And lean

  Into my lover's embrace.

  Spring(contents)

  I wake before dawn

  As I always do

  And I feel as if I am the only one moving.

  Tendrils of the night's chill

  Still float in the morning air.

  I am not the only one moving:

  The birds are running their errands on the beach,

  The dolphins ply their trade in the cold surf,

  Just beyond the break.

  And the Earth rotates

  Turning once again to embrace the sun.

  And while it rotates

  There is also the movement of the planet

  Around the source of it's light

  Sometimes closer

  Sometime further.

  The Earth tilts toward the sun

  And then away, diffident

  And toward again.

  And we are all a part of this motion

  Even though we cannot perceive it.

  We see only the evidence

  As the warmth returns

  All is forgiven

  And we celebrate.

  Sun Rising Behind Clouds(contents)

  Fog crept down the beach

  Fooling no one

  And overhead clouds of blood and ash

  Stretched away to seep into porcelain seas.

  Then fingers of orange light

  Thrust across the sky

  Shredding the flimsy veil

  And flooding the world

  With soul-seeking light.

  A tide of turmoil quelled

  By an ocean of calm.

  Whorls and Eddies (contents)

  When the course of the river is vexed, the flow turns back upon itself. It forms whirlpools, energy moving only around itself, going nowhere. Or it froths as do waves at the beach when they run out of sea.

  Watch the flow of the water as it goes under the pier. See how the turbulence creates its oscillation, and vacillation. Nutrients that muddy the water are dropped as it slows, and it is in these places that the fish gather, and life blooms. And beyond the water is clearer for it.

  I have placed this stone here as a perturbation to your stream. I wanted to show you that there is love in the world for you, without condition, without reciprocity, without any thought of payback. I want you to forget it was me simply because I could do no other: I was merely heeding the demands of my universe. I want you to feel no obligation because the joy I felt in being able to help in such a tiny way pays any debt in full.

  You do not need to carry everything with you in your dash to the sea. Let the silt drop, and the water clear.

  Rejection(contents)

  Sleep has rejected me again

  My bed spit me out

  After a night of hard chewing

  My empty bed mocks me

  Laughs at my failures

  While waiting to be made

  There is no reconciliation here

  The hurt is too new

  One cannot negotiate

  With a fresh gaping wound

  When wounds speak

  The words are never kind

  Wounds use words

  To replicate themselves

  Blood and bruises singing

  Their dark harmony

  Is my only voice

  Sotto Voce, Sunrise

  Sip the dark acid

  And tuck in the sheets

  The Sporting Life(contents)

  Hard-Packed Sand(contents)

  When you run

  Run on the hard-packed sand

  The receding tide has revealed it.

  The ocean has pounded it smooth for you.

  It is firm against the footfalls.

  The softer sand has too much give

  No traction

  All struggle for no gain

  The pavement is too hard

  It punishes the body

  Pounding knees and ankles

  No, run instead

  On the hard-packed sand

  Later

  You will remember that

  You have trained for years

  To run on the pavement

  Your shoes disperse the shocks

  And you know when they will come

  With steady tempo

  There are wonderful views

  running on the beach

  Drenched in sunlight


  The waves,

  The salt air,

  The breeze at your back

  But when you reach the end of the sand

  You must turn around

  And run into the stiff ocean wind

  There is no shade

  And you wilt

  In the harsh light

  When you run

  On the hard-packed sand

  Watch for the tidal pools

  Keep your shoes dry

  and avoid mud squishing in sodden socks

  Better still,

  Run barefoot

  Feet slapping on wet sand

  It's better for you

  Natural

  You've seen the studies

  Video of disembodied feet

  Marching endlessly on the treadmill

  You were made to run barefoot

  Afterwords

  When the sweat and the tears

  Have mixed with the salt air

  And lay thick on your face

  When you can't tell

  Where the brine ends

  and the sea begins

  When you bandage your feet

  Bloody from thousands of tiny sharp shells

  Blistered from unfamiliar contact

  With abrasive sand

  You know you won't be running again soon

  The pain will be too great

  You'll decide next time

  To wear your shoes

  To protect yourself

  And you will question

  Whether to return to familiar pavement

  Rather than continue

  On hard-packed sand.

  Advice for New Runners(contents)

  Breathing is the essence of running. The mistake most new runners make is breathing too fast. When the oxygen gets short, they breathe faster, and faster, getting less air each time, until they hyperventilate.

  The key, instead, when those panicky gasps begin, is to exhale long and slow. Let the breath be your meter, meditate on it.

  Breathe in. Hold. Out out out. Pranayama.

  Do not clench your fists. That may give you the illusion of strength, but remember that it takes energy to make a fist, and your prana is better spent on driving your legs forward.

  Relax your shoulders. Let your arms swing freely. They will pump for extra momentum: your body will know when that is needed.

  When you encounter a fellow runner, acknowledge them with a quick wave or brief nod of the head. Recognize their effort and they will reflect yours. You will find yourself lighter for the shared burden.

  Lift your feet as you run. Anytime you hear that “scuff” that is your foot sliding across the ground. It is the sound of braking. Remember this too, when you run downhill. There is a tendency to lean back, put your feet out to take the impact. Rather, float over your feet, and with long strides let gravity take you downhill.

  Do not forget your breath: In. Hold. Out out out. Pranayama.

  Remember to run at your pace. Do not go out too fast. Do not compare yourself to another runner. That person that just passed you may be only going a mile to your five. Perhaps he just started, and is fresh and overzealous, and when he gets to mile five, if he can, he will be slower than you are. Because you do not know the distance they have gone, it is pointless to measure yourself against them.

  If you are running in a crowded place, people will notice you. You are in motion, and motion attracts attention. Accept it, enjoy it, but do not let that become the reason you run.

  In. Hold. Out out out.